Monday, January 16, 2012

One memory that will last me a lifetime..

I remember the night before my mother died thinking that her deterioration was taking place faster and faster.. Everytime I saw her, she was getting worse.. On Sunday, we visited her and she was being her typical funny self.. Tuesday, we visited her and she looked tired.. Daddy had to carry her to bed the night before because she could no longer walk, as her legs gave out on the way, up the stairs, to their bedroom.. Monday night was the last night that they had slept together as a married couple.. Tuesday night was the first night Mama slept in her hospital bed.. We had an AMAZING visit that day.. We knew she was dying, she knew she was dying.. Daddy said that later on, she told him she was basically resigning herself over to the cancer that was killing her.. I guess even the strongest have to do this eventually.. It was a valiant fight..

The main reason for my visit that day was because my Dad had to go to the doctor for a check up because he had a cough and was battling a cold.. Stress induced, im sure.. He couldnt leave Mama alone this time.. Especially since she couldnt get up and walk.. If she tried, she could really hurt herself.. So, I told him Id come over and we would entertain her.. I was really nervous about it because I didnt know what would be said or what would happen.. Steve and Tyler both came too.. Mama was sitting on the couch when we got there.. She looked so tired but perked up when she saw us.. We sat there and just chatted.. It was when Steve asked Mama this question, that the whole attitude shifted from WEIRD to WONDERFUL.. I am so thankful for Steve asking her this question.. He asked " Cathy, when you get to where you are going, what is the one person you are most excited to see?"  I, of course, would have NEVER asked my mother that, because I was in DENIAL.. lol  I expected Mama to say " my mother" or "my parents".. But that wasnt her answer.. She smiled so sweetly and brightly and said " Jesus".. It was SO TOUCHING to hear this.. She was sad she was going to leave us but was SO HAPPY she was going to get to see Jesus.. AMAZING..

We spent the rest of the afternoon going through hers and Daddy's record collection and introduced Tyler to what records sounded like.. lol  He had no idea what the turntable was.. LOL We played a Jose Feliciano record and there was a song on it and it was SO MOVING that my mother wept while it was playing.. I went to turn it off, because I thought it was upsetting her and she said " NO!!!! Its beautiful!!!" So we let it play through.. EVERYONE was in tears.. It was very moving.. I think this is where Mama realized she would miss moments like these once she was gone.. or maybe it was ME that realized this? Either way, this is ONE memory I wont forget..

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